Review: acekard 2i

The acekard 2i is a card for running homebrew DS software. It sits in the slot where you'd normally put your game of choice and can be used quite successfully to run dodgy copies of games as it turns out, but my main reason for getting it was to get reading material on my DSi. The acekard 2i I bought came with a 4GB microSD card and a USB adaptor for same to enable reading/writing on the PC. I bought it from the UK to take advantage of the strong Euro and so it cost about 25€ instead of the 35€ asked for locally. In the thrill of getting it I also downloaded some pirated games; Colors; Lemmings and the DSReader software.

Pirated games
Obviously, the main reason these cards are decried as pirates' playthings is the ability to put multiple games on the memory card, so let's get this pernicious aspect out of the way first. I wanted to see just how easy it was. A search of Google later and I had Sonic Rush, a game I didn't own, on there. Because I put Sonic Rush on there and played it, it meant I went out and bought an original copy of the game within a day (above all for Finn since it's just too fast for these tired old synapses), and thus ended my experimentation with dodgy software.

Colors
This is a natural paint package that uses the pressure sensitivity of the DS' lower screen in order to paint images. You can save your progress as an animation with some amazing results having been uploaded to the Colors site, like this astonishingly-lifelike polar bear and cub. The controls are intuitive, I just wish I was more artistic to be able to profit better from it.

Lemmings
Yes, this is exactly the Amiga classic. There are a couple of rejigs to suit the smaller screen real estate available to the DS, namely a zoom in function that allows you to get up close and personal, but otheriwse this is the complete Lemmings and the Oh no more Lemmings add-on level pack.

DSReader
This is the only homebrew reader I could get to work nicely. It only works with standard US-ASCII text files, doesn't give a page number or progress bar for where you are in the book and doesn't support more advanced page layout, such as provided in the XML-based ePub format. That said, it displays across both screens (holding the DS as though you were playing a game, rather than a book), supports size-adjustable, anti-aliased TTF fonts, can invert the screen and keeps track of up to three bookmarks per book. I tried several other ebook readers - namely the ascii text reader built-in in the acekard OS (didn't handle para breaks as nicely as DSReader, not anti-alised, but on the plus side screen orientation is user-definable), ReadMore (Bjorn Geisler's stalled alpha version doesn't support screen interaction on the DSi), DSLibris is defunct seemingly and I didn't like the look of TextReader. I really wish I could code, or knew someone who worked for Nintendo so I could propose a legitimate DS cartridge, with a microSD slot in it, like the acekard and a kick-ass ebook reader. The DS would kick seven bells out of Kindle, etc. and ebooks could be sold on the DSi store in additon to the MicroSD card being readable elsewhere. The reader would need to cope with a variety of ebook formats since there isn't a settled standard yet (apart from maybe ePub) and support page orientation, Unicode, font anti-aliasing, etc.

Other
As I posted in a previous rant, the DS is ripe for more useful software than just games. As Colors shows, the possibility to be creative doesn't depend on a large screen and Windows or OS X. Even Nintendo's own sound tool, while gimmicky, encourages the creative side of users. I did try a couple of other apps. DSOrganize, while promising also suffers from the same inability to use the touchscreen on the DSi, Moonshell seemingly didn't offer anything over and above what the acekard OS could do since it wouldn't play the dpg movie I converted and while DSVideo might have worked I balked at using 2GB on the card to store a paltry 90min movie in 256x192 resolution!

I've since found other software, but I cannot access my MicroSD card on the PC for some reason. While it still works fine on the DS and I am in the middle of a couple of books I shan't reformat the thing to see if that cures the ailment, otherwise I will be stuck with what I have forevermore (or until I buy a new memory card - isn't it amazing how cheap and tiny MicroSD cards are?!)

Since this is a review, it needs a score. If only I was a coder I would happily give this 5/5, but since I am but a n00b and have to wait for others to give me what I want, it has to just be 4/5. That said, if you are a coder, please get one and get in touch so we can make beautiful ebook reading together? And if you want to use your DS for more than just Mario in all his guises and you want some of this get the acekard 2i, get it now. Now, can I get back to reading Crime and Punishment please?

Saving water

My six-year old son told me earnestly yesterday that I should take showers instead of baths, since a bath used twice as much water as a shower. In theory I agree, except that since I have MS my balance is shot and taking a real shower is a somewhat worrying experience, let alone standing in a slippery bathtub with one arm raised like some kind of demented ape. Having said that, for just getting wet for the sake of getting clean I completely agree, however nothing beats the sybaritic experience of just laying in a bath of hot water, reading a good book (Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk). Given our aquatic origins I would think that this is a natural state for us and so far more relaxing than even being supine on the sofa. While a bath takes twice as much water as a shower in my son's example, an hour-long shower would doubtlessly use more water and allow for less reading (I believe showers over a certain length of time are referred to as "waterboarding" in some countries). So while I have doubtless used more water than I should, my general sense of wellbeing has improved in a way incomparable with the amount of water wasted. Now, must turn off more lights to make my carbon footprint smaller again...

Utility software for the DSi would be good

Nintendo could really make the DSi a useful tool as well as just a games machine. If they opened the SDK to third parties free of charge we could get:

• Wi-fi finders
• QR code readers
• Calculators
• PIM tools
• ebook reader supporting ePub format
  

All these things would make it far more useful. Nintendo could open up a kind of DSiWare shop where these things were sold (hey, hang on, they already have one! ;)) and given Nintendo's desire for control they would presumably have to vet every entry, but having said that there's already a small but thriving homebrew community for the console that could be tapped. This would be an enormous boon to the little console and see its use other than just for games. The screen is fairly low resolution, but given what has already been achieved I don't see this as a problem, people just need to think around it. Just think, if there were an "official" DGP Player (Nintendo's DS video format) then there could be sales of movies (in YA format) on the DS shop too, perfect for cartoons and the like for little Johnny in the back of the car given the DS' long battery life. Everything just needs to play from the SD card, to ease up space on the main machine. Best of all, this would get away from the shadowy world that is homebrew currently, relying on third party "dodgy" add-ons like the acekard 2i I have that could potentially be used for warez. Please, please, do it Ninty!

Review: Gremlins (1984)

This film still had a 15 certificate on DVD, so I was a little worried about watching it with my son, but really the rating is a little confusing. The only bad language in Gremlins217 is someone getting called an asshole, and the violence is nothing worse than Doctor Who and a lot less realistic. Finn, who is six found it an amusing romp and loved when Gizmo drove the car. For me, it's impressive to see how well the effects stand up today, with large crowds of the evil mogwai marching down the road and a clever trick in the cinema where I would say that they filmed the seats three times and then projected two of the filmed occasions on screens on either side of the seats to give the impression that the cinema is much larger, and more full than it is. As is now common in our jumpcut! faster! more! world, it does seem a little slow, but it's still good. Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates were shining stars when this film came out so I wondered what they'd be doing since. Phoebe Cates married Kevin Kline in 1989 and basically retired from acting, and Zach Galligan is still in films today, but not ones that garner major box office for Amblin... 3/5

Review: Picross

Picross? Pic-crack more like. This is a very simple game, a bit like the old logic problems, but reduced to even simpler aims. There was a game on the GameBoy Advance called Mario's Picross originally, and this is a DS version with all the abilities that the DS brings. In smaller puzzles, like the starter 5x5 grids, or the basic 10x10 grids, the puzzle is presented in its entirety on the lower screen, where you mark boxes with squares or crosses in order to bhuild a pixelised picture of something. In the later levels, grids are 15x15, 20x20 or even 25x20 on the last level and at that point, the ability to either put down a square or cross is joined by a scroll function and a zoom function to grant you an oversight of the entire puzzle, like the top screen (not something I use often). In normal mode you are increasingly penalised when you make a mistake - with your first mistake two minutes are added to your total time, then four, then eight and eight and eight and so on. If you go over an hour you have failed. With free mode you get no penalties, but also no help - you have to keep rearranging your pieces until you solve the puzzle. This was a game I got from the supermarket because it was on offer cheap. I also got it to try and get Fona playing a little on the DS. It didn't take for a couple of months, but now she loves it.

This may be simple, but like the best puzzle games it doesn't need to be any more complex to keep you engaged, sometimes for hours at a time. Best of all, if you wish to try it for yourself, you don't need a DS or to spend money. While looking for images to pepper this review with I found a site called wiipicross where you can play the games for yourself. Try it, but don't blame me if you become less productive... 5/5

Review: Blast from the Past (1999)

Blast from the Past (219) is a sweet little film. The story revolves around Christopher Walken's character Calvin and his pregnant wife Helen, played by Sissy Spacek. Calvin is a scientist who makes his own fallout shelter in the garden of his house because of growing nuclear tensions. There is a party in the house, the night Kennedy makes the Cuban speech on TV and so Calvin gets rid of the guests and he and his wife go down into the fallout shelter. At that moment, a US jet fighter has engine trouble and the plane falls on the house leading Calvin to think the bombs are falling, so he locks the door and sets the timer for 35 years... Their son Adam is born and brought up in the sheltered environment of the well, shelter, and is taught French, German and Latin by dad, and dancing by mum. When the 35 years are over and the locks automatically disengage, Adam gets sent out to find supplies and a girlfriend and comedy ensues. The film is not a great classic, but it is a little gem, sweet and perfectly-formed. There are all manner of time-related misunderstandings and Adam has baseball cards and stocks worth millions (though he doesn't know it). The score I give it might seem low considering how much I like the film, but it's not really worth more... 3/5

Review: Donnie Darko (2001)

Not your average teenage film... Donnie Darko is like a piece of jazz, it plays all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order. That doesn't stop it from being an enjoyable experience by any means, but it does mean that when the film ends you will more than likely be nonplussed by its giant non-sequitur nature. This is the theatrical version, so apparently a little more obscured than the later director's cut version with its extra twenty minutes of story, exposition and clues. The story goes something like: Donnie is sleepwalking and plagued by a giant, scary bunny rabbit called Frank who tells him to do things like flooding the school and burning down someone's house. He's asleep on a golf course when his house gets hit by a falling jet engine. He gets a girlfriend called Gretchen with whom he goes to an old lady's house. He enters the house by the cellar door and disturbs two burglars who turn out to be the school's resident bullies. Gretchen gets pushed into the road and run over by a guy called Frank, who is wearing a scary bunny costume. Donnie goes home with the dead Gretchen in his arms and steals his sister's car keys and drives up to a high point overlooking their home and sees the engine fall...

In short, this isn't an easy film and if my synopsis has made it confusing, then this isn't the film for you. However, if this synopsis intrigues you, watch the film then go to this site and read through. Oh and don't bother going to www.donniedarko.com because it was long replaced by one of those phishing sites, you can go to the Wayback Machine at archive.org and take it back to roughly 2004 and you can play on the site. 4/5(220)